Diana had once been the rising star in her organization. Today, as she opened the door to her office for the first time after a year of maternity leave, she felt like a ghost. She didn\u2019t recognize herself.\u00a0<\/p>\n
She\u2019d been respected and celebrated in her career before her maternity leave, but now she felt she no longer knew who she was.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Her confidence had given way to doubt. Her passion was covered up by layers of exhaustion. And she knew the expectations placed on her would be high. Her expectations for herself <\/i>were high!\u00a0<\/p>\n
Her previous successes were weighing her down – as if they were reminders of how far she could fall.<\/p>\n
Many executives experience what\u2019s often called re-entry anxiety<\/i>. One executive mother shared with me, \u201cI used to feel completely in control. Now I second guess decisions I once made instinctively.\u201d<\/p>\n
You may be experiencing the same angst about returning to work, but the turmoil is not evidence that something\u2019s wrong. It\u2019s a sign that change has occurred and you\u2019re in a period of adaptation. All change feels disorienting at first. That\u2019s a normal part of life.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
And you can make this life transition work for you<\/i>.\u00a0<\/p>\n5 Strategies to Make Your Return a Success<\/b><\/h2>\n
1. Break Through the Fear of Not Being \u201cThe Same\u201d<\/b><\/h3>\n
You\u2019re sleep deprived, your focus is friable and your energy is unpredictable. You\u2019re afraid that you\u2019re simply not the same anymore. You have multiple priorities tugging at your precious attention, and the ambition you once relied on feels a little less robust.\u00a0<\/p>\n
In your mind, you have a picture of yourself returning to work the same as you were before you left. Wanting to be at the top of your game.<\/p>\n
The truth is that you\u2019re not<\/i> the same. Your life has changed. And that\u2019s ok.<\/p>\n
When you\u2019re gripped by fear that you\u2019re not the same anymore, look at what hasn\u2019t <\/i>changed.<\/p>\n
Your career continues to matter to you. Your intellect is the same. Your natural resourcefulness remains. And underneath it all, your authentic self remains intact. She is calm, curious and creative. No matter what your feelings tell you, she hasn\u2019t gone anywhere.<\/p>\n
You have an opportunity here.\u00a0<\/p>\n
You get to choose the new version of you<\/i> in your professional setting. The very act of choosing who you want to be in this new phase is a way to expand your agency.<\/p>\n
Ask yourself:<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Transitions are those moments when your feet leave one place and there\u2019s a sense of nothing solid under you<\/i> – until you put your feet down in a new place.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n That moment of \u2018nothingness\u2019 is what makes transitions feel destabilizing. It\u2019s a bit like being suspended in mid-air, not sure where you\u2019ll land.\u00a0<\/p>\n Successful executives, accustomed to succeeding at almost everything they do, aren\u2019t used to feeling vulnerable. They suddenly need to adapt to unpredictable challenges that require skills they may not have needed before. And when executives return from maternity leave, they can be particularly prone to feeling out of their depth.\u00a0<\/p>\n Transitions may be uncomfortable, but they\u2019re actually necessary for us to move forward.<\/p>\n So what do we count on when we\u2019re deep in the fear, and we\u2019re not sure we can rely on ourselves?<\/p>\n We learn to count on the process<\/i>.\u00a0<\/p>\n Pay attention to what you want this process to be about \u2013 for you<\/i>.\u00a0<\/p>\n Ask yourself:<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Imposter Syndrome is about believing you should be different than you are.<\/p>\n When you rigidly stick to the idealized version of yourself \u2013 the old self \u2013 as a model for who you think you should be now,<\/i> you make yourself \u2018less than\u2019. You compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself who is no longer there.\u00a0<\/p>\n Comparing with your old self (or someone else) implies that you don\u2019t have what it takes. It\u2019s a whisper to yourself that you\u2019re wrong or deficient in some way.\u00a0<\/p>\n This belief is not accurate, or you wouldn\u2019t be where you already are. It makes no sense to As you prepare to go back to work, your first step is to radically accept that things are<\/i> different.\u00a0<\/p>\n Your reality is <\/i>different.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Accepting reality<\/b> as it is will keep your mood neutral and your anxiety down. Neutrality will help you focus and adapt more easily.\u00a0<\/p>\n Ask yourself:<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Every risk you\u2019ve taken in your life so far has boosted your confidence. This period is no different – even though everything feels so daunting.<\/p>\n If confidence is built by stepping out of your comfort zone, then you\u2019re already doing that.\u00a0<\/p>\n The first day you return to work will test your heart, your focus, and your ability to balance new priorities.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Recognize that your choice to return to work is courageous, even if it didn\u2019t feel like much of a choice. The day you show up, you\u2019ve already committed to testing out your adaptability and your capacity to learn at a time when you\u2019re exhausted. Acknowledge that.<\/p>\n Paying attention to all the little (scary) steps you take is a powerful way to build your self-esteem and self-confidence.\u00a0<\/p>\n On the way home from your first day back, say to yourself, \u201cI did it. I did it!\u201d<\/p>\n Notice everywhere<\/i> you\u2019re stretching.\u00a0<\/p>\n It may be in asking for help at home or at work. It may be in your level of organization to ensure you have everything you need for each day. Your stretch may also include leaning into your emotions. Feeling them. Naming them. Rolling with them.\u00a0<\/p>\n And maybe your stretch will be about accepting that none of this will be perfect!<\/p>\n Pay close attention to everything you do that you never thought you could do before \u2013 no matter how small. Celebrate.<\/p>\n Ask yourself:<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Instead:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n
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2. Embrace This Period of Transition for What it is<\/b><\/h3>\n
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3. Accept Reality and Melt Imposter Syndrome\u00a0<\/b><\/h3>\n
believe you should be exactly the way you were before your maternity leave.<\/p>\n\n
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4. Boost your Confidence<\/b><\/h3>\n
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5. Practice letting go<\/b><\/h3>\n
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