{"id":1263,"date":"2020-11-27T04:14:22","date_gmt":"2020-11-27T04:14:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/?p=1263"},"modified":"2026-10-13T18:16:33","modified_gmt":"2026-10-13T22:16:33","slug":"7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Keys to Saving Your Relationship from ADHD Anger"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n\nIf you have been living with ADHD anger in your relationship, you know that it leaves little room for that loving feeling.\n\nThis is because ADHD anger in romantic relationships undermines the best of intentions. It is volatile, intense and frequent. Over time, this behaviour causes a lot of unhealed hurt in both partners.\n\nThe truth is that there is hope. You can stop ADHD anger from ruining your relationship.\n<h2>ADHD Anger and Love<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n\nIf you read my blog,<a href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/is-adhd-anger-destroying-your-relationship\/\" data-track-event=\"click\" data-track-action=\"internal_link_clicked\">How Anger Can Kill Your Relationship<\/a>, you know how ADHD anger works. There are real executive functioning reasons why people struggle to manage their emotions.\n\nOnce you both understand that the anger is a symptom of the<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q-QC4voqmRg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-track-event=\"click\" data-track-action=\"link_clicked\">difficulty regulating emotions<\/a>\u00a0\u2013 not evidence that your partner no longer loves you \u2013 you get to make better choices.\n\nHere are effective ways you can save your relationship and become close again.\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<h2>7 Strategies to Manage Anger in an Adult ADHD Relationship.<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<ul>\n \t<li>\u00a0Take responsibility and get treatment:\u00a0If you are the partner who has ADHD, it is your responsibility to manage it. After all, I am sure you would agree that you do not want a parent\/child dynamic in your relationship. Treatment may include medication, therapy or coaching to take control of your life.<\/li>\n \t<li>\u00a0Know your triggers:\u00a0While your partner is not the cause of your anger, there may be trigger points between you. Decide in a calm moment if there is a positive way to resolve them. Next, commit to using one of the strategies below at times when you are likely to become triggered. Over time, these steps will train your brain to respond mindfully.<\/li>\n \t<li>\u00a0Slow down and pause:\u00a0Both of you can practice slowing down in these heated moments. \u201cCan we slow this down? Let\u2019s check in in an hour.\u201d Every time you pause, you are training your brain to return to a relaxed state. You can then choose how you want to be in that moment rather than raging.<\/li>\n \t<li>\u00a0Manage your stress level:\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=NbXUAg5tA0s\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-track-event=\"click\" data-track-action=\"link_clicked\">Meditation<\/a>, regular exercise and time management strategies can greatly reduce volatility. Feeling in control helps you behave thoughtfully.<\/li>\n \t<li>\u00a0Use effective language:\u00a0What you say really does matter. To maintain your connection, avoid using critical words such as \u201clousy, lazy or spiteful\u201d. Instead, you can share your feelings in a non-threatening way by using \u201cI\u201d statements, e.g., \u201cI feel overlooked when you don\u2019t say \u2018Hi\u2019 to me when you come in the door.\u201d \u201cI feel shamed when you remind me to put out the garbage.\u201d<\/li>\n \t<li>\u00a0Be a great listener:\u00a0Don\u2019t be a mind reader. Your perceptions about what is bothering your partner may not be accurate. Find out. Look in your partner\u2019s eyes and really hear what they are saying. Acknowledge their feelings. \u201cOh, I can really hear that you are in pain when I ask you put out the garbage. I am sorry you feel that way. It wasn\u2019t my intention to shame you.\u201d<\/li>\n \t<li>\u00a0Practice loving gestures: ADHD in romantic relationships does not have to be the wet blanket on your passion. Make a habit of creating opportunities to connect. These can be very small gestures of affection, touch and acknowledgment.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Don\u2019t Be Discouraged<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n\nIt takes time to master these strategies. Don\u2019t become discouraged. Instead, expect that you won\u2019t succeed 100% of the time. Just meet the inevitable hiccups with non-judgment and pledge to keep trying.\n\nRemember that practicing loving kindness when there has been a lot of hurt is the work of warriors. Fight for each other. Not against each other.\n\n<\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group single-article__cta--section has-text-color has-background is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\" style=\"color:#2b2e34;background-color:#f5efea;margin-top:30px;margin-bottom:30px\">\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#2b2e34\">Yes, I\u2019m ready<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-3e41869c wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button has-custom-width wp-block-button__width-50\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/contact\/i-help-you-grow-your-leadership\/\" style=\"border-radius:0px;color:#ffffff;background-color:#b65c45\">Let\u2019s get started!<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you have been living with ADHD anger in your relationship, you know that it leaves little room for that loving feeling. This is because ADHD anger in romantic relationships undermines the best of intentions. It is volatile, intense and frequent. Over time, this behaviour causes a lot of unhealed hurt in both partners. The [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1265,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adhd-resources"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>8 Keys to Saving Your Relationship | Lynda Hoffman Executive &amp; ADHD Coaching<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you experiencing ADHD anger in your relationships? Manage it and develop skills for effective communication with the help of Lynda Hoffman. Visit us!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"8 Keys to Saving Your Relationship | Lynda Hoffman Executive &amp; ADHD Coaching\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Are you experiencing ADHD anger in your relationships? Manage it and develop skills for effective communication with the help of Lynda Hoffman. Visit us!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lynda Hoffman\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-11-27T04:14:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-10-13T22:16:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/AdobeStock_82826012-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1440\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Lynda Hoffman\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Lynda Hoffman\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Lynda Hoffman\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/50f60cf78a3a8f48a8b5bb924806b79e\"},\"headline\":\"7 Keys to Saving Your Relationship from ADHD Anger\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-11-27T04:14:22+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-10-13T22:16:33+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":607,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2020\\\/11\\\/AdobeStock_82826012-scaled.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"ADHD Resources\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-CA\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger\\\/\",\"name\":\"8 Keys to Saving Your Relationship | Lynda Hoffman Executive & ADHD Coaching\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/7-keys-to-saving-your-relationship-from-adhd-anger\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lyndahoffman.com\\\/en-us\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2020\\\/11\\\/AdobeStock_82826012-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-11-27T04:14:22+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-10-13T22:16:33+00:00\",\"description\":\"Are you experiencing ADHD anger in your relationships? 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