{"id":2715,"date":"2021-10-25T13:24:02","date_gmt":"2021-10-25T13:24:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/?p=2715"},"modified":"2026-10-13T18:16:17","modified_gmt":"2026-10-13T22:16:17","slug":"love-boldly-step-back-without-guilt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/love-boldly-step-back-without-guilt\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Boldly \u2013 Step Back without Guilt"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Loving someone who makes poor choices is hard. We feel incredibly vulnerable. We don\u2019t have control over what our loved one is doing. And we\u2019re afraid of just how bad it can get.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The more vulnerable your loved one is, the harder it is to watch the fallout \u2013 real or imagined. You feel helpless. And it\u2019s precisely this helplessness that leads you to step in and become over-involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What has this got to do with your growth? It\u2019s all about your boundaries. Your self-regard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Over-involvement robs you of your \u2018self\u2019. You stretch your boundaries, hoping to feel safer. You react rather than choose. You take on what isn\u2019t yours. And you miss the deeper learning that is here for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group single-article__cta--section has-text-color has-background is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\" style=\"color:#2b2e34;background-color:#f5efea;margin-top:30px;margin-bottom:30px\">\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#2b2e34\">Yes, I\u2019m ready<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-3e41869c wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button has-custom-width wp-block-button__width-50\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/contact\/i-help-you-grow-your-leadership\/\" style=\"border-radius:0px;color:#ffffff;background-color:#b65c45\">Let\u2019s get started!<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When your loved one is truly vulnerable, the urge to step in can feel like the right thing to do. You want to tell them what to do. You want to do it for them. You want to stem the tide of bad consequences so they don\u2019t hurt \u2013 and you don\u2019t either. But there is another way. The one that enhances your agency and theirs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Learning to co-exist and dance with space between you restores that precious balance. When you\u2019re not burdened with misplaced responsibility, you can love from a deeper place. You can know in your heart that your loved one is free to grow and own their own journey. You\u2019re doing the hard work of letting them learn and evolve. You\u2019re allowing them to love you rather than need you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How do you do all this when every part of you is hurting?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns are-vertically-aligned-top is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7387b849 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-top is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:70%\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. Shift your perspective<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>If I\u2019m not the person to help them, who is?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What learning is here for my loved one?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What learning is here for me?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What gets in the way of me allowing my loved one their own agency? Their own journey?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-top is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:30%\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"681\" height=\"681\" src=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-perspective.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4588\" style=\"width:220px;height:220px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-perspective.jpg 681w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-perspective-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-perspective-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-perspective-80x80.jpg 80w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-perspective-600x600.jpg 600w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-perspective-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 681px) 100vw, 681px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns are-vertically-aligned-top is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7387b849 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-top is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:70%\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. Practice self-compassion<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Forgive yourself for having such strong feelings. It\u2019s terrifying to love someone wholeheartedly and watch them walk straight into more hurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">See your feelings as a reflection of your love \u2013 not your failing. Comfort your fear. Soothe your grief. Soften and allow this whole experience inside of you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-top is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:30%\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"705\" height=\"705\" src=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-zen-2.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4589\" style=\"width:220px;height:220px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-zen-2.jpg 705w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-zen-2-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-zen-2-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-zen-2-80x80.jpg 80w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-zen-2-600x600.jpg 600w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-zen-2-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 705px) 100vw, 705px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. Set boundaries<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Know what belongs to you and what doesn\u2019t. Be clear about what you want to say \u2018yes\u2019 to, and what you definitely want to say \u2018no\u2019 to. Setting your own boundaries will actually help your loved one move forward with more clarity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns are-vertically-aligned-top is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7387b849 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-top is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:70%\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4. Clear up any misunderstanding inside of you<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Love is not about overserving. It\u2019s about respectful coexistence. It\u2019s about reaching across the divide with an open heart. Being together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Allowing each other the space to develop agency and autonomy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em><strong>Is there anything more loving than that?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-top is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:30%\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"682\" height=\"681\" src=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-happy-woman.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4590\" style=\"width:220px;height:220px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-happy-woman.jpg 682w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-happy-woman-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-happy-woman-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-happy-woman-80x80.jpg 80w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-happy-woman-600x599.jpg 600w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/LyndaHoffman-LifeCoaching-happy-woman-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 682px) 100vw, 682px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group single-article__cta--section has-text-color has-background is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\" style=\"color:#2b2e34;background-color:#f5efea;margin-top:30px;margin-bottom:30px\">\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#2b2e34\">Yes, I\u2019m ready<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-3e41869c wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button has-custom-width wp-block-button__width-50\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/contact\/i-help-you-grow-your-leadership\/\" style=\"border-radius:0px;color:#ffffff;background-color:#b65c45\">Let\u2019s get started!<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Loving someone who makes poor choices is hard. We feel incredibly vulnerable. We don\u2019t have control over what our loved one is doing. And we\u2019re afraid of just how bad it can get. The more vulnerable your loved one is, the harder it is to watch the fallout \u2013 real or imagined. You feel helpless. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2722,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2715","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-leadership"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Love Boldly - Step Back without Guilt | Lynda Hoffman Executive &amp; ADHD Coaching<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Stepping back without guilt can strengthen your boundaries. Learn practical ways to love boldly while protecting your own growth and emotional balance.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/love-boldly-step-back-without-guilt\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Love Boldly - Step Back without Guilt | Lynda Hoffman Executive &amp; ADHD Coaching\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Stepping back without guilt can strengthen your boundaries. 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