{"id":4768,"date":"2023-03-08T11:06:15","date_gmt":"2023-03-08T11:06:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/?p=4768"},"modified":"2026-10-13T18:15:54","modified_gmt":"2026-10-13T22:15:54","slug":"adhd-coaching-personal-agency-in-action","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/adhd-coaching-personal-agency-in-action\/","title":{"rendered":"ADHD Coaching: Personal Agency in Action"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

ADHD coaching is about more than ADHD. It\u2019s about you<\/em>. How you see yourself, and how you see yourself in the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ADHD Coaching is about how you show up, and how you want to show up differently. It\u2019s the journey toward self-mastery, authentic self-expression and robust personal agency<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ADHD coaching is relational, not transactional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you surprised?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people first come to me, they\u2019re often unsure about what to expect from ADHD coaching, or how it actually works. They want to \u2018fix\u2019 what\u2019s not working, and they\u2019re afraid that what\u2019s broken can\u2019t even be fixed. But there\u2019s big a difference between fixing and transforming. It\u2019s transforming that makes the changes stick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re like many adults with ADHD, you may feel broken, but you\u2019re not. It\u2019s true that ADHD symptoms can have an enormous impact on every part of your life. But you\u2019re a natural learner, in your unique way. The coaching process helps you access that innate potential for growth. As you go deeper, you become supremely self-aware and skilled at creating the outcomes you want to experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All coaching is about self-knowledge<\/strong> and empowerment<\/strong>, but ADHD coaching has a unique poignancy.
Untreated ADHD prevents you from doing what you know to do and behaving the way you want to behave. This discrepancy between knowing and doing has a devastating impact on self-esteem, marriages and careers. Over time, you may even believe that this is who you are<\/em> and that you have no agency at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s this perceived lack of agency that executives with ADHD want to hide. They know what they want to create, who they want to be and how to do it. But they don\u2019t do any of it reliably.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition to skill building, ADHD coaching is about learning to see yourself as you actually are: whole, creative, loving and worthy. You let go of the idea that you are defined by ADHD. In a sense, this is the work of soul recovery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I\u2019m feeling broken, how can I know I\u2019m capable of change?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is such a great question. Look what\u2019s underneath it. You\u2019re doubting your ability to learn because of how you feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you believe your feelings as facts, what choices do you make?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the cycle that I often see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ve tried to change many times in the past, but you remember those efforts as failures because they didn\u2019t seem to work in the way you\u2019d hoped they would. Then you feel discouraged and unmotivated. The effort it would take to try something new feels insurmountable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eventually, you come to question whether you can learn a new way of being at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sound familiar?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This pattern is the executive functioning<\/strong> loop of difficulties masquerading as facts about who you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the fact is, you can trust<\/em> that you\u2019re capable of learning because you\u2019ve done it all your life. You\u2019ve learned to drive a car, get an education, find a career, a partner. You may be thinking, \u201cYes, and most of that has been really difficult! How can I be a good learner if it was so difficult?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Difficulties don\u2019t mean you can\u2019t learn. Unless you decide they do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Difficulties are signals<\/em> that learning is available to you. They don\u2019t mean anything more than that. Your innate ability to learn remains intact – no matter how you feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you find yourself in a fixed mindset (I can\u2019t learn because\u2026.) your antidote is a growth mindset<\/strong> (I can always learn). A growth mindset is your trusted engine for change, even with ADHD<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How ADHD coaching develops your personal agency<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    \n
  1. Partnership<\/strong>
    When you coach with me, you\u2019ll have a non-judgmental space for you to create self-awareness and experiment with new ways of being. You\u2019ll be accompanied, supported and loved toward the change you desire.
    <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Identify the goals behind your goals<\/strong>
    Coaching supports you in turning toward what you want, with less focus on what you want to avoid. Wanting to complete projects on time is not really about satisfying your team. It\u2019s about what it would say about you, and what makes that matter to you. It\u2019s about knowing your values, so you can spark your own motivation when you need it.
    <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Embrace an accurate self-concept<\/strong>
    Separate your idea of who you are from the ADHD symptoms. Clear up any misunderstandings you\u2019ve accumulated over years of     perceived failures<\/a>.
    Your executive functioning is the engine under the hood, but it\u2019s not the whole vehicle. Learn to drive it. You\u2019ll be able to see yourself more objectively and more accurately. You\u2019ll embrace who you really are, joyfully and confidently.
    <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. Choose consciously, consistently<\/strong>
    Coaches ask you a lot of questions. There\u2019s a reason for this. Telling you what to do doesn\u2019t help you learn. Every time you consciously choose something, you\u2019re practicing the habit of tapping into your inner knowing. And better still, you\u2019re exercising your executive functioning skills for goal-setting, prioritizing, self-monitoring and cognitive flexibility. And even better than that, you\u2019re building agency and self-trust.
    <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. Target your actions<\/strong>
    Targeted action leads to change. Practicing new strategies in real time is the key to transforming your experience. When we coach together, we\u2019ll co-create new strategies – and more importantly \u2013 what you\u2019ll need in order to implement them successfully. This emphasis on the \u2018how\u2019 will support you in taking actions when you might not otherwise. Every successful action increases the muscle for taking more and more positive action.
    <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  6. Reflect with curiosity<\/strong>
    Coaching is all about getting curious – about everything. \u201cWhat worked this week? What got in my way? What was I believing?\u201d<\/em> When you ask yourself relevant questions such as these, you\u2019re scaffolding your reflection. You\u2019re not brainstorming randomly<\/em>. You\u2019re reflecting actively<\/strong>. In this way, you\u2019re cultivating key executive functioning skills impacted by ADHD: meta-cognition, self-monitoring, planning, focus and cognitive flexibility.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    You are the master of your experience. Can you imagine breathing possibility into your experience?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    ADHD coaching is about more than ADHD. It\u2019s about you. How you see yourself, and how you see yourself in the world. ADHD Coaching is about how you show up, and how you want to show up differently. It\u2019s the journey toward self-mastery, authentic self-expression and robust personal agency. ADHD coaching is relational, not transactional. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8717,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4768","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adhd-resources"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nADHD Coaching: Personal Agency in Action - Lynda Hoffman Executive & ADHD Coaching<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"ADHD coaching is about more than ADHD. It\u2019s about you. How you see yourself, and how you see yourself in the world. 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