{"id":5833,"date":"2024-11-27T02:54:53","date_gmt":"2024-11-27T02:54:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/?p=5833"},"modified":"2026-10-13T18:37:42","modified_gmt":"2026-10-13T22:37:42","slug":"i-can-do-it-myself-personal-agency-or-limiting-belief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/i-can-do-it-myself-personal-agency-or-limiting-belief\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cI can do it myself\u201d \u2013 Personal Agency or Limiting Belief?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When you hear yourself say, \u201cI can do it myself\u201d are you speaking from personal agency?
Or are you caught inside a limiting belief?
When you’re grappling with what to do about a persistent issue in your life, these are essential questions.
I support you in trusting your gut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But there’s a difference between your gut and your thinking – and it’s not always clear which one is speaking to you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people talk to me about the possibility of coaching together, they share something that\u2019s been eating away at them for some time \u2013 often years. They say that they\u2019ve been circling the idea of working together for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then something happens in their lives, something they can no longer ignore, and that\u2019s what compels them to hit \u2018send\u2019 on that email to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Yes, I’m ready<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Let’s get started!<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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When we first meet, we spend time exploring the change they want to make – and what makes them want it now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes we\u2019ll meet three times before we commit to working together. There are good reasons for this slow, deliberate approach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Working together is an investment. I want to be sure they know what they\u2019re signing up for, and that they\u2019re ready for the depth of the work ahead. I want them to succeed. I want them to experience a transformation they didn\u2019t think was possible. To see what they had not seen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just in those first few calls, the epiphany and clarity they gain can leave them feeling inspired to say, \u2018I can do it myself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They’re already experiencing a shift. They’re feeling excited.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But \u2018I can do it myself\u2019 can also have a \ud835\udc21\ud835\udc22\ud835\udc1d\ud835\udc1d\ud835\udc1e\ud835\udc27 \ud835\udc1a\ud835\udc20\ud835\udc1e\ud835\udc27\ud835\udc1d\ud835\udc1a. It could sound like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI can\u2019t show my vulnerability to someone else regularly.\u201d
\u201cI don\u2019t want to face myself (totally) just yet.\u201d
\u201cI have evidence today that things are better, so I can expect they\u2019ll stay that way.\u201d
The overall theme?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

External factors feel better in this moment – so the client feels they don\u2019t need to do anything differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf things feel ok on the outside, I\u2019m ok on the inside.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have you said this to yourself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s ok if you have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I support you where you are. I trust your gut and your inner knowing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when I hear, \u201cI can do it myself\u201d I get curious.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s going on underneath?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

A hesitation about your vulnerability with another person?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The assumptions you\u2019re holding about yourself? The \u2018need\u2019 to be supported?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does it say about you if you want a coach, a guide, a thought partner?
How might this thought pattern be a way to keep you where you are?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What else are you telling yourself about being coached?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cReceiving support means I\u2019m being dependent.\u201d
\u201cIt\u2019s shameful to need support.\u201d
\u201cI don\u2019t have the money.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For more clarity, you could apply Byron Katie\u2019s<\/a> powerful work to all these statements. They feel real and true to you, but ask yourself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n