{"id":9083,"date":"2025-02-20T13:07:48","date_gmt":"2025-02-20T13:07:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/?p=9083"},"modified":"2026-10-13T18:37:32","modified_gmt":"2026-10-13T22:37:32","slug":"executive-leadership-coaching-in-action","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/executive-leadership-coaching-in-action\/","title":{"rendered":"How Tara let go of striving and increased her confidence: Executive Leadership Coaching in Action"},"content":{"rendered":"

Have you ever wanted to change your life so badly that it\u2019s all you think about?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You can almost <\/span>taste<\/span><\/i> the satisfaction of landing that career-defining role. You can almost <\/span>see<\/span><\/i> yourself leading that team with vision.\u00a0 And you can <\/span>feel<\/span><\/i> in your body the surge of confidence that comes with communicating powerfully.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As an executive leader, your <\/span>\u2018wanting<\/a>\u2019 <\/span>for that something better can feel so strong, and the route there so opaque, that control to make it happen can feel impossible.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The desire for something better is universal. We all know it whether it comes from within ourselves or from external social pressures. The desire to improve or to learn or to achieve is deeply roots in our psyches.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What is it you\u2019re longing for? How long as has this yearning been with you?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If it has been with you awhile, you may also wonder if you have the control to create for yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n

The truth is, we don\u2019t have a lot of control over most elements in life. Uncertainty is a given.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So when your wanting mind is strong, and when you have a vision for what would make you happy, how do you go from wanting to creating?<\/span><\/p>\n

Tara\u2019s Story \u2013 and Yours<\/b><\/h3>\n

Tara was an executive who came to me feeling small and inconsequential in the face of the life that she wanted to live.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Have you felt this way in the face of what you want for yourself?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In Tara\u2019s case, she was a successful young executive who also paradoxically felt unfulfilled<\/span>. She wondered if she was in the wrong career. Nothing felt right. Her work felt meaningless and mundane. She tried to think of what else she could do, but nothing came to mind.\u00a0 Absolutely nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tara felt so much pressure to achieve \u2013 but she <\/span>wasn\u2019t achieving<\/span><\/i>. She had been treading water for years.<\/span><\/p>\n

She was grieving the reality that the new and stimulating career she yearned for had not yet materialized. And she was grieving the long-term relationship that had not yet been seeded.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tara was beginning to wonder if she even knew who she was anymore, and why she couldn\u2019t enjoy her life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But Tara changed all that in six months through Executive Leadership Coaching.<\/b><\/p>\n

When we completed our coaching together, her <\/span>personal leadership<\/b> had grown immensely. She was feeling more intentional, discerning, self-directed, and more in control of herself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

On our last day together, Tara shared with me that her entire nervous system had shifted from crisis mode to something calmer and more peaceful. She was no longer a victim to circumstances, but a powerful woman with the agency to pause, reflect and choose <\/span>toward<\/span><\/i> what she wanted.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tara believed in herself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She was confident that she could step forward and own her decisions. She had let go of perfection, and she embraced the idea that she was a part of life. She deserved to be here.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She realized she could choose what she wanted. For herself. Not for anyone else.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tara started making her own decisions. Instead of waiting for someone to tell her what they might give her, she thought ahead about what she wanted for herself \u2013 more deeply.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No matter how life unfolded, she now trusted that she had an <\/span>inner guidance system<\/span><\/a> to direct her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve been wanting something for yourself for long enough, you\u2019ll recognize the value of her successfully learning to tap into her inner guidance system. What\u2019s your relationship with yours?<\/span><\/p>\n

How did Tara get there?<\/b><\/h3>\n

She uncovered the <\/span>way of being<\/span><\/i> that had been keeping her from what she wanted most.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cI\u2019ll wait for the best option to come to me so I don\u2019t make another mistake.\u201d\u00a0 Tara lived by this. Everything she did in a day was designed to mitigate risk.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This \u2018protection-plan\u2019 approach to life only created more uncertainty, fear and doubt. She resisted taking any risks. She even avoided being creative, playful and adventurous.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once Tara realized that every decision in her life had been based on fear, things began to change.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, to free herself,<\/span> she<\/span> had one important step she needed to take.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She had to give up hope that she could find what she wanted \u2013 <\/span>outside of herself.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\"flower\"<\/p>\n

She had to let go of the illusion that her happiness resided in her new job or in finding the right partner.\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Tara\u2019s courage is worth emphasizing here. It\u2019s not easy to <\/span>let go of an old pattern <\/span><\/a>for a new one we don\u2019t yet trust.<\/span><\/p>\n

When we give up fear-driven behaviours that have been part of us for years, what\u2019s left? The ensuing void can feel frightening, as if we\u2019re at sea in high winds. Suddenly, we\u2019re looking for something to buoy us.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Where do you look when you\u2019re feeling uncertain?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For Tara, it was committing to turning inward \u2013 for the first time in her life. She came to know her inner landscape intimately.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She developed the habit of turning toward what she <\/span>wanted <\/span><\/i>rather than away from what she <\/span>feared<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tara\u2019s U turn was inspiring to watch.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

She chose to be <\/span>active,<\/span><\/i> rather than<\/span> passive<\/span><\/i> \u2013 in everything. In dating, this meant she took full charge. She reflected deeply.\u00a0 Rather than waiting to see who showed up (passive),<\/span><\/p>\n

she gave herself permission to create her own list of the attributes she was looking for in a partner (active). In her career, she leaned into what fed her passion. She researched with creativity and tested out her ideas.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She stretched into the world, <\/span>rather than waiting for the world to create her.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

On our last day together, Tara shared that she felt more in control, confident and self-compassionate. She estimated that her fulfillment had risen 70% in six months.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can do this too.<\/b><\/p>\n

Turn your <\/span>wanting into creating<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Really slow down. Set aside some sacred time for yourself when no one will interrupt you. Have paper with you and journal as you reflect.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ask yourself:<\/span><\/p>\n