{"id":9355,"date":"2025-07-23T12:02:57","date_gmt":"2025-07-23T12:02:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/?p=9355"},"modified":"2026-10-13T18:37:45","modified_gmt":"2026-10-13T22:37:45","slug":"adhd-as-identity-who-are-you-really","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/adhd-as-identity-who-are-you-really\/","title":{"rendered":"ADHD as Identity: Who are You Really?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cIf I don\u2019t fix this, then who am I?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Harry knew he had untapped potential. He was an <a href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/executives-with-adhd-leverage-your-promotion\/\"><strong>executive with ADHD<\/strong><\/a> who felt every day that he was underperforming. He felt he wasn\u2019t expressing who he really was on the inside. He felt defined by <em>the least of what he showed on the outside. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And yet, Harry came to me hoping to create something better for himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He described his leadership patterns as, \u201cJust how I do it. I can\u2019t help myself. I know it doesn\u2019t work and it\u2019s not fair to my team, but I\u2019ve always done it that way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Harry saw himself through the lens of his <a href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/adhd-coaching-with-lynda\/\"><strong>ADHD symptoms<\/strong><\/a> &#8211; as if they were all of who he was. As if they were his identity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The language he used to describe these patterns suggested that he believed they were <em>fixed.<\/em> Built into his personality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If these patterns were fixed, what was the part of him yearning for something better? &nbsp;Who was that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This question matters, because how you identify will have a powerful influence over your behaviour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How we identify is how we behave.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table class=\"has-fixed-layout\"><tbody><tr><td>When we see ourselves as finite and already formed, we stop growing.<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>When we see ourselves as the sum of our problems, we ARE the problem.<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>When we see ourselves as the solution, we ARE the solution.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Who we are is so much more than a series of symptoms, characteristics and outcomes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There\u2019s an authentic \u2018you\u2019 in there that drives your best choices. There\u2019s also a reactive, habitual \u2018you\u2019 that drives your most risk-averse choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sorting out the truth of who you are is key to learning to turn toward your highest self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>ADHD and Your Identity<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Getting a <a href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/adhd-coaching-in-montreal\/\"><strong>diagnosis of ADHD<\/strong><\/a> can be a profoundly self-affirming process. It clarifies a lot. It gives you a framework for understanding challenging behaviours and frustrating life outcomes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But if you\u2019re going to look at it as what\u2019s wrong with you, or that the symptoms you\u2019re living with are immutable, you\u2019ve misunderstood the purpose of a diagnosis. It\u2019s not a limit. <em>It\u2019s a starting place.<\/em> A reference point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"574\" src=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Lynda-Hoffman-Life-Coaching-people-1-1024x574.jpeg\" alt=\"An evocative portrayal of racial equality with a mural showing faces of different ethnic backgrounds merging into one, symbolizing shared identity and respect, minimalist composition\" class=\"wp-image-9357\" style=\"aspect-ratio:1.78397212543554;width:2560px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Lynda-Hoffman-Life-Coaching-people-1-1024x574.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Lynda-Hoffman-Life-Coaching-people-1-300x168.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Lynda-Hoffman-Life-Coaching-people-1-768x430.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Lynda-Hoffman-Life-Coaching-people-1-1536x861.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Lynda-Hoffman-Life-Coaching-people-1-2048x1148.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Lynda-Hoffman-Life-Coaching-people-1-1320x740.jpeg 1320w, https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Lynda-Hoffman-Life-Coaching-people-1-600x336.jpeg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>ADHD symptoms are not <em>you<\/em>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ADHD symptoms are the expression of a brain functioning at its current level in the context of your life &#8211; today. They are not <em>you<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While ADHD is not something you grow out of, it <em>is<\/em> something you can learn to adapt to in this neurotypical world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Think for a moment about who\u2019s doing the adapting. It\u2019s not the part of you that\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/untreated-adhd-measuring-the-true-impact\/\"><strong>impacted by ADHD<\/strong><\/a>. Do you notice that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What <em>is<\/em> that part that drives you towards deeper understanding? More strategic ways of being?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s a difficult task to put your finger on the exact essence of you, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group single-article__cta--section has-text-color has-background is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\" style=\"color:#2b2e34;background-color:#f5efea;margin-top:30px;margin-bottom:30px\">\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#2b2e34\">Yes, I\u2019m ready<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-3e41869c wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button has-custom-width wp-block-button__width-50\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/contact\/i-help-you-grow-your-leadership\/\" style=\"border-radius:0px;color:#ffffff;background-color:#b65c45\">Let\u2019s get started!<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>So where do you look for an understanding of who you are?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am I the \u201cI\u201d with the quiet, wise and loving voice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am I the \u201cI\u201d with the irritable, critical voice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am I the \u201cI\u201d that is bigger than either of those voices?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Turn toward the \u2018I\u2019 that doesn\u2019t exist<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The more you question, the more you realize that like a nesting doll, the \u201cI\u201d you\u2019re looking for keeps getting smaller and harder to see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Who is your \u201cI\u201d? The one who sees yourself? The one who feels? Thinks? Observes? Learns? Performs? Commits? Serves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can see that there is no \u201cI\u201d. There is only the common human experience we all share.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Our imperfection is universal<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There is no perfect version of humanity out there. It simply doesn\u2019t exist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We\u2019re part of one enormous whole &#8211; a large, moving, evolving enterprise. And we\u2019re valuable, no matter how awful we think our symptoms make us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I believe our messiness is our <a href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/who-am-i-self-concept-and-you\/\"><strong>humanity<\/strong><\/a>. We all stumble, achieve, love and grieve. &nbsp;It\u2019s simply not accurate to define ourselves by one part of our experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And what we believe about who we are matters. A lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When we see ourselves as flawed, we stop growing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When we believe we\u2019re part of a greater, beautiful, messy, evolving whole, we\u2019re kinder and more creative. We deepen our learning, and we show up as our best selves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It goes against our very nature to see ourselves as the \u201cI\u201d that is fixed, flawed and frozen in inadequacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>What\u2019s your ADHD identity narrative?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What is the narrative I use to define myself?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How do I know this narrative is true?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What would prove to me that this narrative is not true?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How do I feel when I believe this narrative? How do I behave?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What part of me knows I am more than ADHD?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What part of me is ready to love all my other parts?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We are not symptoms. We are learners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What happens when you see yourself as pure potential? A masterpiece in process?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Define yourself by the best of you. Your dreams. Your integrity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Your commitment to life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cIf I don\u2019t fix this, then who am I?\u201d Harry knew he had untapped potential. He was an executive with ADHD who felt every day that he was underperforming. He felt he wasn\u2019t expressing who he really was on the inside. He felt defined by the least of what he showed on the outside. And [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9356,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9355","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adhd-resources"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>ADHD as Identity: Who are You Really? - Lynda Hoffman Executive &amp; ADHD Coaching<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Explore how ADHD shapes personal identity, challenges self-perception, and influences the question: Who are you really with ADHD?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lyndahoffman.com\/en-us\/adhd-as-identity-who-are-you-really\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"ADHD as Identity: Who are You Really? 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