• Menu
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Before Header

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
Book an Information Call

Lynda Hoffman

Header Right

  • Home
  • About
    • About Lynda
    • Are We a Fit?
  • Services
    • Coaching
      • What Is Coaching?
      • Your Success Plan
      • A New Perspective
    • Excecutive Coaching
      • Executive Coaching
      • What is Executive Coaching?
    • ADHD Coaching
      • Coaching Adults
      • ADHD Coaching with Lynda
      • ADHD Coaching: Does it Work?
    • Mind-body Integration
  • Testimonials
    • Testimonials
    • Life Coaching Success Stories
    • ADHD Coaching Success Stories
    • A Client’s Coaching Process
  • RESOURCES
    • Personal Leadership Series
    • Executive Series
    • ADHD Resources
  • Media Hub
    • Videos
    • Podcast
  • Master Class
    • ADHD, You and the Workplace
    • Could It Be Adult ADHD?
  • Contact
    • Executive Coaching
    • Coaching Executives with ADHD
    • Book an Information Call

Mobile Menu

  • Home
  • About
    • About Lynda
    • Are We a Fit?
  • Services
    • Coaching
      • What Is Coaching?
      • Your Success Plan
      • A New Perspective
    • Excecutive Coaching
      • Coaching Executives
      • What Is Coaching?
    • ADHD Coaching
      • Coaching Adults
      • ADHD Coaching with Lynda
      • ADHD Coaching: Does it Work?
    • Mind-body Integration
  • Testimonials
    • Testimonials
    • Life Coaching Success Stories
    • ADHD Coaching Success Stories
    • A Client’s Coaching Process
  • RESOURCES
    • Personal Leadership Series
    • Executive Series
    • ADHD Resources
  • Media Hub
    • Videos
    • Podcast
  • Master Class
    • ADHD, You and the Workplace
    • Could It Be Adult ADHD?
  • Contact
    • Executive Coaching
    • Coaching Executives with ADHD
    • Book an Information Call
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn

I Have ADHD: Who Needs to Know?

September 28, 2021 //  by Lynda Hoffman

I’m a big believer in transparency.  But it can be hard to know when or what to reveal about your ADHD. Whether it’s a new job or a new relationship, you may find yourself grappling with this question. Do I share? How much? When? Or do I keep it to myself?

My heart ached in my chest when a professional I know told me that his job was in jeopardy once he disclosed that he had ADHD. He was in agony over his decision, and he deeply regretted it. On top of struggling to improve his performance at work, he now had to worry that his neurotypical supervisor did not understand him or his ADHD.

Yes, I’m ready

Let’s get started!

When is it appropriate to share?

In a nutshell, it’s appropriate to share about your ADHD when the symptoms are impairing your outcomes.

In relationships:

Yes, share. The more you share with your partner the better, transparency is key to intimacy. And it’s important that you both see the behavior for what it is.  Then you can be strategic with it. When you’re late for dinner – again, you’ll both know that it’s not about how much you care. It’s about poor awareness of time. You may need a reminder on your phone to cue you when it’s time to leave the office.

With prospective partners:

Yes, share. If you want this person in your life, they deserve to know the whole of you. Especially when they’re feeling frustrated and hurt after you’ve shown up late for the third date, or forgotten about it entirely!

At work:

No, don’t share – not just yet. But do share if you’ve been asking for an accommodation that you know would help you and they’ve been refusing it.  Explaining why you’re making the request, and how it will help, can go a long way in getting what you need. “I’m asking for a closed door to my office because ADHD makes it hard for me to filter the auditory distractions. I do my best work when I have quiet.”

When you receive poor performance feedback, take that to your ADHD coach. Make a plan with her to address it. Your employer doesn’t need to know about your process, just that you’re addressing it meaningfully.

Job interviews:

No, don’t share. They don’t know you yet and you don’t know them. It’s up to you to choose the job that works for you. Once you’re hired, see how it goes. Give yourself a chance to shine. You can decide down the road if you need to directly share about your ADHD.

Before You Share Anywhere, Ask Yourself:

  • What is the outcome I’m looking for? 
  • Will it serve me to disclose in this context? 
  • What exactly do I want to say 
  • How do I want to say it? 
  • What strategy will I use to manage my impulsivity during the conversation 
  • What is my gut telling me about sharing with this person?

Sharing is About Information, it’s Not an Excuse

Sharing is about communicating information that’s relevant to the situation. Successful disclosure implies that you’re taking responsibility for your behavior and how you will manage it better going forward.

A careful, well-crafted disclosure can be an effective way to take responsibility. It’s a way to be accountable. And that’s always a win-win – – for everyone involved.

Yes, I’m ready

Let’s get started!

Category: ADHD Resources, See all Resources

Emotional Regulation in the Trump Era: Calm Amid the Chaos

Where do you look for comfort when everything feels absolutely insane?Chaos in our personal lives is hard enough. But chaos in our larger world can feel terrifying.Everything we rely on - …

Holism coaching

Holism in Executive Coaching: Possibility, Meaning, Agency

When you’re anxious and frustrated by a persistent problem, you tend to become very small in your thinking. Every part of you wants to get rid of it or fix it. You focus on eliminating …

“I can do it myself” – Personal Agency or Limiting Belief?

When you hear yourself say, “I can do it myself” are you speaking from personal agency?Or are you caught inside a limiting belief?When you're grappling with what to do about a persistent …

Previous Post: « The Big Transition: Emerging from the Pandemic
Next Post: Love Boldly – Step Back without Guilt »

Primary Sidebar

Newsletter

Subscribe now, and you’ll receive 6 weekly emails with powerful strategies for ADHD Resources.

Related posts

Where do you look for comfort when everything

Holism coaching

When you’re anxious and frustrated by a

When you hear yourself say, “I can do it

My friend Marie asked me today with a wink,

Unstructured time is the definition of a

The words 'fearless' and 'leader go together

Footer

info@lyndahoffman.com

Canada - USA - International

(514) 819-1610

Social media

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn

Quick links

  • Home
  • What Is Coaching?
  • Resources
  • Testimonials
  • Master Class
  • Contact
  • Press Release
  • Book an Information Call

Are you working hard and not getting anywhere?
Subscribe now,
and you’ll receive 6 weekly emails with powerful strategies for effective personal leadership.

Professional Certified Coach
TransFriendly - Supporting and welcoming our transgender and non-binary customers online and in-store
TransFriendly - Supporting and welcoming our transgender and non-binary customers online and in-store

Copyright Lynda Hoffman® 2025. All rights reserved.
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service that apply.