It has been my privilege to work with some of the brightest people in medicine, law and business. Creative, highly logical, laser focused AND detail oriented, these professionals contribute in meaningful ways.
And they’re also on the receiving end of hurtful judgments about their competence. Caustic reprimands for tardiness, loss of pay and threats of termination or demotion are commonplace. Worse, the tone of all this feedback is paternalistic. It reflects an underlying assumption that professionals with ADHD are behaving badly because they are less than their peers.
Do you feel inadequate at work because you do things differently?
Do you identify with your ADHD behaviours?
Do you believe the judgments of others when it comes to you and your performance?
Receiving judgmental feedback would be hurtful and unhelpful for anyone. For adults with ADHD who have already lived a lifetime of perceived failures and struggles, this feedback style is harmful. It contributes to the further erosion of self-regard – especially when the ADHD is untreated and not understood.
Given that adults with ADHD are three times more likely to become suicidal, it’s important that everyone understands what is actually going on in the ADHD brain.
Inadequacy is a feeling, not a fact
It’s so important to understand that the gap between capacity and performance is about executive dysfunction. Not intelligence or commitment.
Sadly, when this is not understood, human beings tend to make assumptions to fill in their knowledge gap. It may be easy to do, but it’s inappropriate.
- The moral judgment assigned to poor time management is just plain inappropriate.
- The moral judgment assigned to overfocus on details to the detriment of the big picture is inappropriate.
- The moral judgment assigned to difficulty reading between the lines is inappropriate.
Judgments such as these start with an inaccurate premise that the professional is not capable of doing better. This is a fixed mindset, and it precludes any helpful problem solving for you and your supervisor.
These are the Facts:
Executive functions are the brain-based systems responsible for your higher order thinking skills – They are command central for everything you do — or don’t do — in a day. In neurotypical people, executive functions work automatically. Seamlessly. Until the moment when the keys are locked in the car or the grocery list is left at home on the kitchen table.
For those with ADHD, these thinking skills will be under-developed and must be deliberately and consciously worked with.
ADHD is all about performance — not intelligence. It’s about showing how smart you are.
When performance counts
Of course you want to execute your role in the way you know you’re capable of. When you’re feeling inadequate because your behaviour consistently rides below your ability, turn toward the behviours. They hold a gold mine of information about where you can learn to become more strategic. Notice what you’re actually doing or not doing.
Do you recognize these behaviours in your?
- Over committing? Working at the last minute?
- Over focusing on patient care, under focusing on charting?
- Interrupting colleagues in meetings?
- Being easily frustrated with sudden changes?
Here are the executive functions at the root of these behaviours (in order):
Time Management: You don’t feel time accurately, and you can’t estimate time accurately. You struggle with time limits and deadlines.
Motivation: You choose to focus on what interests you, and you avoid the necessary but boring or tedious tasks.
Inhibition: Your cognitive ‘brakes’ don’t function well, so you can’t stop yourself from speaking or acting when it would be appropriate to do so.
Emotional regulation: You’re quickly overwhelmed by your feelings when triggered.
Now that you see what’s going on in your brain, you can plan for the moment when the executive dysfunction might get in your way.
Mastery in Action
Planning is not just for tasks.
Planning is also for setting your brain up for success when it counts. When you know that you’re going into a meeting with a colleague who sets your teeth on edge, you’ll want to plan so you have strategies to stay calm.
Planning is also for how you’ll remember to pause before you say ‘yes’ to the next task.
Planning ahead for the moment of potential executive dysfunction gives you your power back.
Here are Your Strategies
Time Management: Melt your resistance to managing your tasks across time. Do it. BE willing to make mistakes. Record what actually happens. Over time, you’ll know much more accurately what you can commit to and what may be too much.
Motivation: Accept that you won’t feel motivated in the moment that you want to feel motivated. Instead – ahead of time – find the meaning behind the task. Make it so important that you can’t imagine not doing it. Go deep. Go as big. Trust me, this boring task has an important meaning too.
Inhibition: Be prepared to slow down in the moment you might say something you shouldn’t. Set your intention ahead of the moment you talk too much. Who do you want to be in that moment? What will your face look like? What will your body convey? What is the outcome you most want to enjoy from this interaction? Find a way to remind our self of all this before you enter this moment.
Emotional regulation: Emotional overwhelm can be minimized by practicing being with them. Learn to name them. Boldly choose to observe them. This gives you space between you and the experience. This space allows you to choose how you want to respond wisely.
These are all beginning points for diminishing the sense that your poor performance is beyond your control.
You can improve your performance. Acknowledge yourself for working with your EFF and for taking charge. Inadequacy does not need to plague you.
Choose how you want to perform. Be bold. Be all in.
